On the good days I can laugh and even selfishly think well you know she chose to do it and if shes not here to enjoy life then thats her own fault. On the bad days I cry and sob and just want her back.
Things havent been easy and I have been accused of blaming Emmas girlfriend for Emmas death. Sometimes on good days I think I am just looking for someone to blame and stop myself and feel sympathy for her girlfriend, and then I find something else out about the girlfriend and it makes my blood boil and I want her dead and not Emma. Here is a snippet of what I have had to put up with since Emma passed and please tell me if I am wrong in feeling anger..obviously I havent named her girlfriend but you will get the gist.....
- Ok so here goes, firstly emma took her own life she wasnt murdered, she hadnt taken a drug overdose either, emma wasnt addicted to heroin or coke, the blood results from the police indicate yes on the night emma died that she had drunk quite a bit of booze, took a bit of coke but not enough to warrant it being an "issue" basically from tox they say she was a recreational user, not an addict as ***** is trying to say.
- £200 of emmas is missing from the flat, she withdrew it on the monday and took her life on the monday night/tuesday morning.....also missing is emmas money tins, baccy, and her purse was bone dry, now we all know that if you go out your left with copper and some shite in your purse, now ***** is claiming emma spent the £200 on drugs FALSE!! and if so why is ***** now begging emmas friends for money to pay a drug debt?
- Emma was on facebook at 1am logged into ***** account, why hasnt ***** surrendered her laptop to police? what was on ***** facebook to maybe tip Emma over the edge?
- ***** has told my mum and aisha that she removed drugs and bits of clingfilm from the flat to save my mum the upset, this is all false too, the police have made a point of doing statements to prove there were no drugs in the flat and also took photographs.....***** emailed aisha that and she is quite prepared to copy and paste it to anyone that disbelieves anything we are saying.
- #### apprently got hold of ***** on the day of the funeral and threatened her, thats a lie too as #### was with us the whole time, also #### never got hold of her on the saturday after the funeral because he was out all night fishing.
- ***** accessed emmas facebook account and was messaging emmas friends within a few hours of finding out about emmas death from emmas account...she also was accepting friend requests off people that emma hated and liking my status's from emmas account..also i noticed several inbox messages missing, they had been deleted why? when ***** was tackled and asked not to go on emmas facebook she carried on and when i confronted her she managed to get her dad to have a go and twist it all round on me....i have access to emmas account now and i am finding friend requests off ***** friend who know emma has died...now thats fucked up!!!
- my mum cleared EMMAS flat, yes it was only emmas flat asap after emmas death, and ***** messaged me within an hour of getting her own stuff back to complain of things missing....my mum gave her everything that was hers and bits of emmas....she got more than enough.
- I asked for emmas chain back not out of malice but because regardless what has happened it was emmas every photo i have she is wearing it....it wasnt ***** to have.
- my family have not ignored ***** one bit infact i was messaging her last week as was james talking to her on her status, so that is bull.
- ***** has refused to let my mum see the letter emma left her, but has showed most of easingwold it.
- at the funeral ***** stood at the bar slagging my mum off about stuff in the flat but didnt realise my uncle paul was stood there in ear shot.
- At the funeral we asked ***** to join us following emmas coffin in, she never and made a grand entrance and exit of her own.
- Emma was taking m-kat bollox bollox bollox
Emma was in debt upto her eye balls not true she paid all her bills and rent on time.
now i havent done this lightly but i just cannot cope with the bull shit and lies anymore, as i said emma wasnt an angel but to blatantly lie when shes not here to defend herself then it is wrong, and i also believe if emma was here now to witness all this a certain someone would of kicking big style, myself and my family have tried to carry out emmas wishes and be kind to someone but unfortunately it has back fired and we have realised our first instincts are correct and we should of kicked someone into touch the day emma died.
This was written 6 weeks after my sisters death........its now 13 weeks after her death and well it gets worse, I am just so angry...I could seriously do time for this girl !
