You know I cant even think about typing about it right now...all the bravado has been sucked right out of me, i am just sat here sobbing like a baby, I've got snot running down my face, make-up all over and my chest hurts so much.....I cant handle this, I was warned but I really didnt think it would affect me like this at all...I thought I was made of stronger stuff, obviously not :(
I think its the thats it now mentality and fucking closure....I hate that word...Now Emma is just gonna be archived somewhere and thats it....its fucking shit, shes just there with birth certificate, death certificate and thats it.
I just want her back, I want her here taking the piss out of me, playing with the kids, nicking my fags and James' beers...seeing her odd socks, watching her with amazement when she puts six sugars in her brew, moaning like shite coz I have made her get up and take the kids to school.
I just want someone to tell me it wont hurt like this everyday, that time really is a healer and all the clique bullshit that goes along with death.
